It all started Sunday night the 10th (12 days past due date) after several hours of cleaning the house. I started to get a bit crampy but didn't think anything of it just yet as nothing consistent was happening yet. Between 7:00-9:00'ish things started to be a little more consistent.....every 8-10-15 minutes I would feel cramping but it was nothing unbearable at all so I still wasn't sure if I was in labor yet? By 10:00-11:00'ish things started to happen and I was getting contractions every 5-6 minutes so I decided it was time to call the doctor who then instructed me to head into the hospital. Little did I know that was going to be the beginning of a very long day with a not so happy ending to it.
We got to the hospital around 12:30 in the morning with no sleep at all in my system so that was my first strike against me. Not much happened through the night, myself and the baby were monitored to make sure we were both doing ok and I was 1cm throughout the night with no progression. Throughout the night either me alone or both Ryan and I roamed the halls a bit to try to get things moving along but around 8:00AM the Doc came in to check me out and I was still only 1cm. Well, she didn't allow it to stay like that for long. During my exam SHE dilated me to 3cm's and if you're a woman reading this who has had your doctor do that to you you know what I mean when I say.....OUCH! At around 8:30AM she came back in and broke my water and that is when we discovered that the baby had had his first bowel movement already (it's called Meconium) which was a cause for concern but I was reassured that it is not uncommon and most of the time is not a problem at all as it gets suctioned out before the baby has a chance to do any damage. Unfortunately, this was not the case for my sweet baby Aiden :-(Once my water was broken and I was hooked up to Patocin the action really started to happen! The contractions were getting a bit unbearable so I was given a pain medication through my IV that made me REALLY loopy! This pain medication lasted about 2'ish hours and then the pain all came back again. I believe by this point I had dilated another cm to 4cm's. Once that wore off we decided to take a trip to the bath tub where my contractions seemed to intensify a bit and I could only handle about a half hour before I was being helped back to bed where I was now anxiously awaiting my intrathecal to help me with the pain. After I think about an hour of waiting and bearing through the contractions I finally got my intrathecal and was able to relax for a few hours as that is all it lasted. My contractions for hours now had been only about a minute or two at most apart so I wasn't getting much relief between them at all so the intrathecal was great as it took away the pain. Many of you reading this may not realize the difference between an intrathecal and an epidural but the an intrathecal is only temporary and wears off whereas the epidural is continuous until manually turned off. I chose the intrathecal because I was told that you do not lose mobility and can still get up and walk around but I did not find that to be the case. I felt too numb from the waist down to do anything but lay in bed.
A few hours passed and the intrathecal wore off and I was in more pain than ever and begging for more relief. I believe at this point I was about 6 cm's so progress was being made! Unfortunately, the anesthesiologist was tied up and it could be a while before they could get to me....GREAT! I should have gone with the epidural to begin with but I really didn't want to be bed ridden which I explained earlier I was anyway. I think about an hour had passed before I was given the epidural and if memory serves me correctly this was around 3:00'ish in the afternoon (almost 15 hours after being admitted) and boy.....did that take away ALL the pain! I didn't make me loopy or anything just completely numb from the waist down which is a really weird feeling! So, I was able to get a couple of hours rest before my body and the patocin was able to complete it's job and get me up to 10cm's.
When I was told I could start pushing at around 5:30PM Christina, my cousin and God Mommy to Aiden was there with me and Ryan, his Mom and step Dad were down in the cafeteria getting something to eat. Christina called Ryan and told him they were getting my legs in place and I was going to start pushing. Even though it was going to be a while before we'd be close to delivery they of course made their way up and were in the room within a few minutes (not his step-Dad of course). Let the fun begin! Actually, the first hour of pushing was with the epidural in place so there was actually no pain at all but when I wasn't making the necessary progress the epidural was turned off and that is when the fun really began! It didn't take long for the medication to wear off and I was on my own to bear with the pain.....I honestly do NOT know how anyone does it without pain medication throughout the whole labor....pure silliness! I pushed and I pushed and I pushed some more but not much progress was being made still. I'd push for (3) 10 second intervals with a quick breath in between each attempt then I'd get about 30-45 seconds to catch my breath and do it again. I did that over and over for a total of 2 1/2 hours with the last 1 1/2 being without pain medication. My doctor doesn't like to see this final stage of pushing go more than 3 hours and at 2 1/2 hours she just didn't see the kind of progress necessary to allow me to continue on and told me that it was my choice but that her recommendation was to go in for a c-section. I REALLY wanted to avoid that at all costs but at this point I just couldn't see how I could do it anymore so I quickly agreed and begged for them to turn the epidural back on! I guess it doesn't work like that so it felt like an eternity before I was making my way down to the OR and I was left to lay there in bed and deal with contractions coming at me every minute and wanting to push but knowing that it wouldn't do any good.
Finally.....I was in the OR and was rec'g the necessary medication to take me through a c-section. You know when people tell you you lose all modesty during times like this.....totally right! I was spread eagle on that table in front of several people I had never met before and I didn't even care one bit! This epidural was a little different then the last....it felt like someone had set my legs ON FIRE! That feeling did go away though and eventually just felt completely numb again and I was all worried that I was going to feel them cutting me but the very nice woman who administered the medication assured me that I wouldn't feel anything and she knew that because they had just made the incision right before I asked her if I was going to feel anything. After they made the incision is when they allowed Ryan into the room. Ryan sat by my side reassuring me that everything was going to be ok while they pulled and tugged at Aiden to try to get him out and I think it was only about 5 minutes and my wonderful little man was finally out at 8:31PM. I saw tears in Ryan's eyes as he caught his first glance of him. He was 7 lbs. 14 oz. and 21" long. Many of you are probably thinking that that is a good size baby but if you've been keeping up on my blog you know that I was convinced that I wasn't having anything below 8 and was further convinced that he'd be more like 9lbs. I wasn't all that big during my pregnancy but I thought for sure that since Dad was 9 lbs. 1 oz. at birth and Mom was mid 8's coupled with the fact that he was 1 day shy of 2 weeks late that I didn't have any chance at delivering anything in the 7 lb range or lower. He looked so much littler to me though and still does now too.Being that he had had his first bowel movement already there was no time for me to see him unfortunately. They brought him over to the heated table and got to work. I didn't hear any crying so of course I was getting nervous but Ryan could see him the doctor told him that he's alert and breathing. I could hear little whimpers and such here and there but that is about it.
After what seemed like forever they FINALLY brought my little man over to me so I could see him for the first time and OH MY GOD I can't even put into words the emotions that ran through me when I set eyes on him for the first time!! He was absolutely beautiful! A little cone headed from his failed attempt at natural delivery but other than that he was just perfect! 10 seconds is all I got with him though and then he was whisked away :-( I didn't think anything of it at the time but soon I would find out why.Ryan went with Aiden while the doctors finished putting me back together again and recovery was a bit more rough than I had anticipated it would be. For almost the whole surgery for some reason my right shoulder was really bothering me and I couldn't get it to stop aching! I finally found a way.....the pain in my abdomen while waiting in recovery after the doctors finished with me made me forget all about the shoulder pain! I was shaking uncontrollably from the medication and was told by the nurse a dozen times to take deeper breaths and try to relax a bit (easy for her to say!)
It was about 10:30PM I think before I was wheeled back up to maternity and of course I was a bit out of it. It didn't take me long though to start asking about my son and where he was and how he was doing. When I asked the room full of people which consisted of Ryan, Christina, and Ryan's Mom and Step-Dad how my sweet baby boy was doing I knew there was a problem because no one could look at me. They all looked at each other and burst into tears. I can't even put into words how all the pain I was feeling quickly didn't matter anymore.....SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON WITH MY SON!
The doctor had come in before I got up there to tell them what they knew at that point. Apparently Aiden had swallowed too much maconium and they weren't sure yet what was going to happen. Fortunately, Ryan was able to make trips over to where they were working on him where they allowed him to take a few pictures and bring the camera back to me so I could see him......
It was so difficult looking at these pictures with all of these wires hanging off of him and being poked and prodded!! I knew that they were doing what they needed to do but words can not describe the feelings it gave me.
We anxiously awaited another hour and half for the doctor to finally come in an fill us in more. I honestly couldn't believe that this was happening to us!! Almost 4 hours had passed since his birth by this time and we were informed that Aiden was suffering with both of his lungs being partially collapsed and he was very susceptible to infection in addition to the collapsed lungs. We were told that for him to receive the best care possible he was going to need to be transported to a nearby hospital (Maine Medical Center) where he may need to stay for up to a couple of weeks. Maine Med was only about a 20 minute drive away but as far as I was concerned it was half way across the world! They were taking my baby away from me!?!? Throughout my 10 months of pregnancy I envisioned what the birth and afterwards would be like and never in a million years did I ever think that this could happen. I'd had such a wonderful pregnancy that I just assumed that birth would be the same but sadly that was not the case.
I was able to see my son for all of 5 minutes before he was wheeled away from me not knowing if I'd honestly see him again. I know that sounds morbid but it was a reality I had to face. If he was serious enough to be taken to a different hospital for care then in my head it was serious enough to be prepared to expect the worst. All I was able to do was touch his little body for that 5 minutes because he was in a plastic cube rec'g oxygen....I wasn't even able to hold him....that killed me! He was so cute and I was so sad that they had to take him away from me but he needed care that this hospital couldn't provide to him. I'm literally crying as I type this because I remember so vividly the fear I had for my poor little newborn boy.
After they took him away I tried to get a little rest and actually did dose off now and then due to the morphene I was on. Ryan and I gave it all of an hour and a half before we called over to Maine Med to make sure he arrived ok and he did and it turns out that they had already done a chest xray and found that his lungs had started to clear a little so that was good enough news to put me a little at ease. Within several hours after that I called again and Aiden had managed to strengthen his lungs enough to be reduced to 30% oxygen instead of 100%.....more good news! Things get a little fuzzy as far as what he accomplished when but it wasn't long after that they were able to take him off of oxygen completely. I'm pretty sure the only thing that got me through all of this was Aiden's constant ability to heal himself and with every phone call things got better and better!Being that I had a c-section they don't like you to leave the hospital in under 3 days but given the circumstances my doctor didn't have a problem releasing me 2 days later (Wednesday) so I could finally go and spend quality time with my new son. I have never been through anything so emotional in my life. I wasn't even in the NICU yet before I started bawling with the anticipation of what was about to happen. The moment I laid my eyes on him was a moment I will never forget! He was still in his little plastic cube and had numerous wires hanging from his body but I was finally able to hold him for the first time and it was the most incredible feeling ever! It made me very sad to see him with all those wires but every day, one by one he was able to get rid of them. Here is a few pictures of him in the NICU and the first picture was of our first kiss....poor kid....I was dropping tears all over him!
Wednesday night was my first attempt at breastfeeding him and it was actually quite humorous! I of course was trying to figure out what the heck I was doing and the wires on his body didn't help when trying to properly position him but that little bugger took all of 2 seconds to latch on and go to town! I couldn't hardly believe it! The nurse was a little shocked too because he figured it out so quickly and he's been like that ever since. I wasn't producing nearly enough to nourish him so they needed to feed him through a tube in his nose since he had no interest in drinking from a bottle.....a hurdle he'd have to overcome before they let him leave the hospital. Leaving him was very hard but it was really important that I get my rest and being home was the only way to do that. If he hadn't been making the great progress he was making there was no way you could pull me away from him but he was making such great progress and was in such good hands that I decided that I needed to go home and get the rest I needed to heal properly. Oh, and by now too we were told that all of his tests for detecting infection had all come back negative and he was taken off of the antibiotics!! One hurdle overcome so now we just had to get his lungs reinflated and that's exactly what Aiden did!
On Thursday we were told that his left lung was completely back to normal but that his right lung still had a little clearing up to do. Along with that he needed to be feeding from a bottle before they would allow us to take him home and he needed to have his circumcision done along with get his Hep-B shot. It was about mid day on Thursday that we were told that he is TOO HEALTHY to be in the NICU and that he was going to be moved upstairs to Pedeatrics. Music to my ears!! He was TOO HEALTHY!!!! Yippee!!! So, we packed him up and off we were to see his new temporary home. Through all of this waiting in the hospital Aiden was such a wonderful baby too! Very easy going and loved to just look around and check things out. Of course he couldn't see much but he was so content to just lay in his crib (elevated steel crib) and look around....he really didn't fuss much at all! Aiden continued to want to breastfeed which was such a relief given that we were apart for the first couple of days of his life. My milk still wasn't in yet (and one week later I am still struggling with that but I'll get into that later) and he still didn't want to take a bottle so they had to continue to feed him through a tube in his nose. Here are a few pictures, we bought that blanket/Christmas hat so we could use it for our Christmas cards, honestly....have you EVER seen anything cuter?!?!? The other picture is of me enjoying him sleeping on my chest......
It was VERY difficult to leave on Thursday and Ryan almost turned the car around a couple of times because I would just burst into tears. I had had enough of having to leave my baby in the hands of the hospital and I just wanted him home! We eventually got home (snow storm) and went straight to bed in hopes that we would be able to bring Aiden home the next day.
When I got up to pump in the night (like I had been doing every 3-4 hours since Tuesday) I called the hospital to see how he was doing and I was informed that he had finally taken his first bottle! Again, yet another accomplishment that made me so proud of my little man! He was healing himself so quickly and I went back to bed tickled pink at the thought that our chances of taking him home on Friday just increased greatly.
We got to the hospital a little after noon time and we were told that his most recent xrays taken that morning showed that he had cleared up his right lung in addition to his continued bottle feeding and his feeding tube was removed....yet another wire removed that I didn't have to worry about pulling out by accident. We were told that they were really trying to get him in for his circumcision but it was short notice but they would do their best. Meanwhile, we were being told that he may not be able to go home even if they could do the circumcision because they typically like to see the baby feed from a bottle for at least a 24 hour period before releasing them. We were told that it was up to our Pedeatrician to make that decision so we waited to hear from him.
We got word shortly before 3:00PM that they were able to perform the circumcision so that was great (well, not for Aiden but it needed to be done). Ryan went in with Aiden to have that done...yup...you read that right....he went in with him to watch and comfort Aiden. Normally they have to strap all 4 limbs down but Ryan was able to hold his arms while they did the procedure. I'm so thankful that he had the stomach to do that because it really made me feel much better that one of us was in there with him and I KNOW I couldn't have handled listening to him scream bloody murder. It wasn't but maybe 15 minutes before Aiden was back in my arms and that is when we rec'd word that our Pedeatrician was giving us the OK to bring baby boy home!! You have no idea how happy it made us to take him home.....ok, so I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared ^$%&*# too but it had to happen sooner or later and we were ready for the challenge. Before we headed out though he also had to get his Hep-B shot so the poor kid that was just butchered had to endure yet a little more pain but he was a trooper and handled it well.
On our way out of the hospital a pretty cool thing happened! Slugger (for those of you reading this that are not local that is the mascot of the Sea Dogs minor league baseball team) along with an older gentleman tied to the Red Sox were on the Pedeatrics floor visiting kids and the Red Sox guy had the world series trophe with him. Guess what?!?! Aiden was on my lap in his car seat and slugger got behind me and the other guy holding the trophe stood in front of us and we got our picture taken with them! Then the guy put his hand down by Aiden that had his ginormous world series ring on it and we got Aiden in a close up with it!! Check it out!!!......
So, off we went home as a family of 3 for the first time! Right from the get go Aiden is a very good night sleeper and other than having to wake him up for feedings he slept through the night. We placed him on a pillow between us so we could snuggle with him anytime we wanted to :-) I know that having him sleep in bed with us may not be the wisest choice due to the fact that it is a hard habit to break so after 4 nights of sleeping with us we decided to give the bassinette a shot and it turned out to be a good move. Although reaching over and snuggling with him now and then was heaven we slept better and I'm thinking he did too. I was just concerned that the cats would jump in with him and smother him so I relieved that fear by using the stroller net we have to cover the bassinette. If the cats tried to jump in with him I would be able to hear them before the got comfy in there.
Watching Ryan try to figure out just how to handle this fragile little guy was quite cute too. Daddy did really good with helping me out and took care of most of his diaper changes while I pumped to continue to try to build up my milk supply. The first night came and went which lead us into Saturday and this is when I began to fall apart!
Due to the 2 day delay in trying to breastfeed and only having a few opportunities to breastfeed in the next couple of days my milk supply just didn't seem to want to come in and as I type this on Thursday of the following week I am still struggling to get my body to do what it needs to in order to nourish Aiden without having to bottle feed him too. Having said all that it was quite confusing on what the right thing to do for Aiden was. Do I continue to try to breastfeed and give him formula very limitedly?!?! Do I supplement with formula as much as he wanted!?!? I really didn't want to bottle feed him too much for fear that the would choose that over nursing so the whole weekend I spent in tears wondering if what I am doing is right! Not to mention that the poor kid didn't do much peeing or pooping all weekend which really had me stressed out that I was totally starving my kid!
After a wonderful but also rough weekend of worrying we got into see the pedeatrician right away on Monday and oh my goodness did she really help! She totally got me to understand that there is nothing wrong with giving him formula until my milk supply comes in fully (if it ever does!) as long as I continue to breastfeed him first before giving him formula so that is what I do. It is quite a process I must say. This is what I do every 3-4 hours including late nights.....feed on one side for no less than 10 minutes, feed on the other side for no less than 10 minutes, get the formula warmed up while I change him, feed him the formula and then pump for 15 minutes and again.....the pumping after is all in an effort to establish my milk supply. Normally a woman's supply is well established by now and if anything she's pumping to get rid of excess milk that the baby didn't take in but that is not the case for me.....I'm very much trying to develope a supply and it is quite challenging to go through that whole process every couple of hours! I just keep trying to think of the big picture though and if I can get my supply up and running then it's not only the best thing I can do for him but it's the best thing I can do for me not to mention it's much easier than dealing with formula and I'd be lying if I said that it wasn't also to help out financially.....formula is expensive! Oh, and she reports Aiden as having gained 7 ounces since he left the hospital....he was 8 lbs. 5 oz. and also rec'd a clean bill of health during the rest of her exam. She said that his lungs sound good and I asked if there will be any long term affects of what happened to him and she said that there shouldn't be. His circumcision is also healing nicely along with his umbilical cord. Good news all the way around!
So, since leaving the Pedeatrician on Monday I have been quite content because I know now that my sweet baby Aiden is getting all the nourishment he needs with the formula after I am done with him and as long as he continues to latch onto me like he does then I'm not going to worry too much and hopefully I'll be able to get my production up and running so we don't have to bother with formula anymore and I don't have to be attached to that dreaded pump 24/7!!
Fortunately visitors decided to hold off and give us the weekend to just be a family because we really needed that time alone but we've had many visitors drop by this week and ahhhh and ohhh over Aiden. I LOVE watching people meet him for the first time and gush over how cute he is!! I had a lactation consultant over on Tuesday and the visiting nurse over on Wednesday which was nice. The lactation consultant showed me some things that I was doing wrong and introduced me to a new position to feed Aiden....the football hold....I love it! So much better than what I was doing!
On Tuesday Grammie and Grampa Therrien came to visit and they were very excited! They were with us during everything that happened at his birth and took a trip to the NICU to see him too and through all of that they were unable to hold Aiden so you can imagine that Grammie was more than ready to hold her Grandson the moment they walked through the door. Aiden must have known they were coming because he was wide awake for about an hour and a half just staring at them. Grammie was in heaven! Here they are holding Aiden shortly after they arrived and there's another picture of Grampie holding Aiden in the Santa suit they brought with them since we were unable to make the family party the weekend before and they wanted to make sure Aiden got his picture taken with Santa for his first Christmas.......
again.....how cute is he?!?!?! Here are a few more pictures we've taken in the last week. I just love this first one! Daddy was burping him and I snapped the picture just at the right time to capture that hilarious face! Then there's one of Daddy snuggling with Kitty and Aiden.....
I also have a kodakgallery slide show of pictures that I put together. Just cut and paste the link and it will take you to a login page. If you don't have a login already it doesn't cost anything to create one and you'll be able to view the pictures......
http://www.kodakgallery.com/ShareLandingReg.jsp?Uc=7ovuf0f.1mhcrwvz&Uy=-2tseo9&Upost_signin=Slideshow.jsp%3Fmode%3Dfromshare&Ux=0&UV=525806408524_890183168207
Well, that's the whole story! Turned into a bit of a short book I think but there was just so much to tell. Although we had a rough start things are so wonderful now and he's a happy and healthy boy that brings us so much happiness! I absolutely love him being so little and so cuddly but I also look forward to all the upcoming changes and I can't wait for his first intentional smile! He smiles now and then but I don't think it's particularly at us....gas or something!?!? :-) I'm pretty sure I'll be starting a new blog to document at least his first year of life so stay tuned for that new blog address. I hope you enjoyed my post, as sad as some of it may have been the big picture is that it had a happy ending! Thanks for reading :-)
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